How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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