How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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