How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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