How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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