How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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