How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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