How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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