How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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