How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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