How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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