How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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