How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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