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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A taxi driver.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
I scream!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?
To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?
50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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