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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?
To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's the best parting gift?
A comb.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, it just waved.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
Squash
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How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?
His heart wasn't in it.
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