How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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