How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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