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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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What's the best parting gift?
A comb.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get in!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with
but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?
Dead.
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