How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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