How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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