How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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