How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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