How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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