How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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