How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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