How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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