How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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