How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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