How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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