How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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