How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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