How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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