How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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