How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

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