How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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