How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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