How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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