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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?
Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?
Where is pop corn?
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?
His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?
Bone appetit!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?
A Flat Miner
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.
Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
With a cowculator.
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