How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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