How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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