How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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