How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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