How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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