How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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