How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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