How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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