How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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