How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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