How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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