How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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