How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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