How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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