How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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