How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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