How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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