How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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