How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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