How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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