How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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