How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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