How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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