How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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