How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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