How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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