How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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