How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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