How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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