How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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