How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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