How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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