How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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