How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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