How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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