How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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