How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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