How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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