How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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