How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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