How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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