How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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