How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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