How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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