How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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