How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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