How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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