How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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