How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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