How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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