How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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