How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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