How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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