How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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