How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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