How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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