How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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