How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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