How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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