How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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