How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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