How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?


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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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