How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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