How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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