How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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