How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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