How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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