How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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