How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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