How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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