How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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