How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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