How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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