How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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