How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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