How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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