How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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