How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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