How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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