How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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