How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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