How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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