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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
When it's full.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?
On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because his feet stink
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,
he's a catholic converter.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
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