How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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