How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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