How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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