How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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