How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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