How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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