How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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