How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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