How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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