How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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