How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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