How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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