How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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