How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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