How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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