How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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