How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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