How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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