How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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