How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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