How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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