How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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