How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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