How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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