How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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