How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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