How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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