How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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