How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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