How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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