How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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