How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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