How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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