How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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