How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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