How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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