How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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