How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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