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How do you make a fire with two sticks?
Make sure one is a match!
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Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?
Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?
Sir.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite
......... one jar.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?
A traffic jam.
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Where do horses live?
In the neigh-borhood.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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