How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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