How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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