How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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