How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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