How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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