How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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