How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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