How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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