How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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