How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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