How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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