How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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