How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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