How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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