How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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