How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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