How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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