How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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