How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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