How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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