How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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