How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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