How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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