How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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