How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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