How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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