How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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