How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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