How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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