How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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