How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
Canvas not available.

or


I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

Canvas not available.

or


What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
Canvas not available.

or


A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
Canvas not available.

or


How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
Canvas not available.

or


What has a head but no body?

A nail.
Canvas not available.

or


I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

Canvas not available.

or


How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

Canvas not available.

or


Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
Canvas not available.

or


What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2025