How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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