How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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