How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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