How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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