How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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