How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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