How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!


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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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