How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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