How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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