How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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