How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.

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