How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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