How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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