How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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