How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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