How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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