How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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