How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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