How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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