How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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