How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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