How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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