How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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