How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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