How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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