How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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