How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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