How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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