How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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