How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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