How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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