How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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