How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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