How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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