How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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