How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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