How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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