How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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