How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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