How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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