How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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