How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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