How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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