How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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