How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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