How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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