How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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