How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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