How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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