How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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