How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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