How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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