How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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