How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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