How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.


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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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