How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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