How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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