How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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