How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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