How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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