How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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