How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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