How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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