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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?
Start with two million.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?
Chips AHOY!!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
Separation anxiety.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?
What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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