How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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