How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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