How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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