How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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