How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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