How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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