How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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