How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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