How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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