How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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