How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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