How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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