How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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