How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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