How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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