How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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