How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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