How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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