How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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