How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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