How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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