How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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