How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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