How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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