How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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