How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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