How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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