How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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