How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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