How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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