How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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