How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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