How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.

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