How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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