How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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