How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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