How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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