How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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