How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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