How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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