How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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