How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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