How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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