How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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