How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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