How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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