How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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