How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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