How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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