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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?
Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did one cow say to the other?
Mooooooove over
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.
So I went - and I got it.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.
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