How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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