How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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