How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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