How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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