How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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