How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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