How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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