How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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