How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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