How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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