How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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