How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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