How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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