How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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