How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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