How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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