How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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