How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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