How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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