How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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