How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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