How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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