How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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