How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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