How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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