How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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