How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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