How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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