How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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