How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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