How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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