How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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