How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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