How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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