How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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