How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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