How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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