How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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