How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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