How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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