How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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