How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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