How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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