How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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