How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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