How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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