How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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