How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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