How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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