How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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