How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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