How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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