How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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