How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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