How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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