How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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