How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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