How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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