How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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