How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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