How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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