How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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