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How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand
and says make me one with everything.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?
Chili
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?
From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.
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