How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.

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