How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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