How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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