How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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