How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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