How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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