How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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