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How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?
They both have a hole in one!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?
When the door is open.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
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