How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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