How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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