How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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