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How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,
they never get old!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?
Elvis Parsley.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
So he could grade his eggs.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?
Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How do you open the great lakes?
With the Florida Keys.
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