How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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