How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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