How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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