How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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