How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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