How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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