How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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