How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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