How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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