How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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