How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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