How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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