How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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