How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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