How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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