How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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