How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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