How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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