How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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