How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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