How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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