How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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