How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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