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How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?
A kitten.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?
Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns
they always take things literally.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
To get to the other size!
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