How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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