How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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