How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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