How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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