How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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