How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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