How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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