How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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