How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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