How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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