How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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