How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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