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How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,
I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?
Cause your the only one Hair.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?
A fence.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Mummies!
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What is a lion's favorite state?
Maine
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Where do horses live?
In the neigh-borhood.
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