How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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