How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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