How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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