How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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