How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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