How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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