How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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