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How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
He got caught peeping on a test.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
By renaming it Trump University.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
Lilly.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
The guardians of the galaxy!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
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