How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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