How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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