How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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