How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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