How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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