How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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