How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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