How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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