How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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