How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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