How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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