How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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