How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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