How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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