How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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