How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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