How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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