How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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