How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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