How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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