How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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