How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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