How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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