How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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