How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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