How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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