How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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