How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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