How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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