How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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