How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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