How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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