How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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