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How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?
Hiss-story
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then
*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then
*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the painter say to the wall?
I got you covered.
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