How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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