How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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