How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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