How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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