How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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