How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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