How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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