How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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