How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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