How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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