How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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