How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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