How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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