How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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