How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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