How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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