How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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