How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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