How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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