How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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