How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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