How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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