How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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