How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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