How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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