How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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