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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poke her face.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
They were sitting on the deck!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.
Blue sky at night: day.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get in!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.
It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?
A Moo-sician!
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Which day do fish hate?
Fryday
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.
So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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