How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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