How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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