How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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