How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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