How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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