How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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