How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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