How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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