How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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