How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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