How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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