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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poke her face.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?
2 years old.
Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.
But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.
Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Went to the corner shop -
bought 4 corners.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."
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What did one wall say to the other?
I'll meet you at the corner.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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