How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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