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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poke her face.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?
Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?
Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?
The sound of Mew-sic
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Fingernails.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he had no BODY to go with.
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