How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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