How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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