How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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