How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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