How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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