How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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