How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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