How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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