How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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