How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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