How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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