How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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