How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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