How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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