How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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