How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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