How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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