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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poke her face.
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does the winner of the race lose?
His breath.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
Take away his shovel
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What did the candle say to the other candle?
I'm going out tonight!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish
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What washes up on small beaches?
Microwaves.
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