How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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