How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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