How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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