How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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