How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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