How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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