How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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