How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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