How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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