How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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