How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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