How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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