How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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