How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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