How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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