How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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