How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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