How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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