How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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