How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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