How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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