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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
With its sparrowchute.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!
You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?
When the door is open.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?
Where is pop corn?
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How many
does it take to screw in a light bulb?
10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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PMS jokes are not funny...
[Period]
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?
Because his feet stink
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