How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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