How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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