How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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