How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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