How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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