How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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