How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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