How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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