How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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