How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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