How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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