How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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