How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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