How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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