How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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