How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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