How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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