How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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