How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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