How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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