How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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