How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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