How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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