How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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