How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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