How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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