How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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