How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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