How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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