How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.


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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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