How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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