How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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