How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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