How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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