How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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