How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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