How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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