How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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