How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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