How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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