How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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