How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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