How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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