How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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