How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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