How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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