How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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