How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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