How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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