How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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