How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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