How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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