How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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