How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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