How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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