How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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