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How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?
Because Mercury moved in.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
He was a dirty double crosser!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?
A river.
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Why does cheese look sane?
Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?
A swordfish
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What do you give a lemon in distress?
Lemonade.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
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