How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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