How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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