How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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