How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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