How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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