How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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