How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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