How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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