How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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