How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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