How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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