How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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