How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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