How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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