How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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