How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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