How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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