How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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