How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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