How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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