How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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