How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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