How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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