How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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