How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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