How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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