How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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