How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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