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How does a train sneeze?
Ah-choo-choo!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
Bugs Bunny.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?
His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?
A jump rope.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card
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