How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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