How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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