How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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