How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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