How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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