How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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