How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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