How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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