How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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