How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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