How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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