How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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