How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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