How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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