How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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