How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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