How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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