How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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