How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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