How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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