How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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