How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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