How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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