How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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