How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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