How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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