How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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