How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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