How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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