How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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