How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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