How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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