How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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