How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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