How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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