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How does a train sneeze?
Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
Squash
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane
but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A hush puppy.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?
2 years old.
Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?
When the big hand touches the little hand
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
Anywhere it wants to
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