How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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