How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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