How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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