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How does a train sneeze?
Ah-choo-choo!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?
Nice belt!
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Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?
"Many hands make light work."
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?
[A Condesending con descending]
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If you don't know what introspection is,
you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why was the ant so confused?
Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??
None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?
"Let me see your birth certificate".
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