How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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