How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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