How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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