How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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