How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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