How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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