How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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