How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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