How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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