How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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