How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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