How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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