How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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