How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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