How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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