How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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