How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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