How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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