How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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