How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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