How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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