How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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