How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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