How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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