How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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