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How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?
Camelflauge
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do Russians use for napkins?
Soviets
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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