How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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