How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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