How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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