How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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