How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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