How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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