How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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