How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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