How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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