How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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