How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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