How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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