How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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