How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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