How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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