How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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