How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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