How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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