How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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