How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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