How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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