How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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