How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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