How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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