How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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