How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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