How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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