How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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