How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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