How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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