How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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