How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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