How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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