How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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