How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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