How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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