How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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