How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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