How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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