How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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