How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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