How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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