How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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