How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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