How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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