How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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