How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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