How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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