How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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