How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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