How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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