How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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