How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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