How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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