How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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