How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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