How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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