How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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