How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.


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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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