How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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