How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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