How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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