How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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