How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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