How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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