How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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