How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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