How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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