How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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