How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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