How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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