How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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