How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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