How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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