How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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