How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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