How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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