How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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