How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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