How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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