How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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