How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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