How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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