How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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