How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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