How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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