How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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