How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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