How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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