How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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