How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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