How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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