How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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