How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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