How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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