How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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