How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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