How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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