How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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