How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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