How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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