How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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