How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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