How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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