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How does the ocean say hello?
It waves.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don't know the words.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?
She was caught taking a brake.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?
From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?
Quark!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?
Cell phones
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.
But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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