How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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