How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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