How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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