How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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