How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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