How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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