How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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