How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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