How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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