How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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