How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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