How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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