How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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