How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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