How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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