How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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