How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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