How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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