How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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