How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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