How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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