How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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