How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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