How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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