How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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