How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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