How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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