How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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