How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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