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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?
By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?
They both dribble.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.
They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why are elephants wrinkled?
Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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