How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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