How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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