How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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