How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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