How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.


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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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