How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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