How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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