How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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