How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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