How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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