How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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