How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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