How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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