How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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