How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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