How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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