How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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