How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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