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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?
1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?
Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips are moving.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?
Two babies screaming!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?
Because Mercury moved in.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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