How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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