How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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