How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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