How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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