How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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