How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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