How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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