How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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