How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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