How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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