How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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