How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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