How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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