How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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