How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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