How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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