How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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