How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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