How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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