How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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