How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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