How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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