How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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