1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
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Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"
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Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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