How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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