How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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