How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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