How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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