How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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