How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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