How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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