How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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