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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?
1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.
'It's not unusual' he replied.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?
Nice belt!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?
Catillacs
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?
I'm all spaced out!
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