How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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