How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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