How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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