How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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