1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Elvis Parsley.
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Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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