How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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