How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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