How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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