How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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