How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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