How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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