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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's a royal pardon?
It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?
When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
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