How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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