How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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