How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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