How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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