How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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