How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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