How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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