How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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