How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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