How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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