How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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