How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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