How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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