How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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