How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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