How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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