How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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