How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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