How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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