How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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