How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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