How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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