How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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