How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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