How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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