How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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