How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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