How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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