How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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