How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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