How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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