How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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