How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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