How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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