How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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