How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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