How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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