How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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