How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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