How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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