How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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