How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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