How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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