How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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