How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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