How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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