How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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