How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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