How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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