How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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