How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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