How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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