How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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