How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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