How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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