How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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