How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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