How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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