How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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