How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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