How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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