How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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