How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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