How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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