How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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