How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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