How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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