How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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