How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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