How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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