100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
or
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
or
Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
or
The price of bacon would go up.
or
An impasta
or
So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
or
A river.
or