How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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