How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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