How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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