How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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