How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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