How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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