How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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