How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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