How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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