How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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