How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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