How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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