How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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