How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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