How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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