How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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