How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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