How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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