How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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