How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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