How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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