How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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