How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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