How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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