How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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