How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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