How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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