How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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