How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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