How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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