How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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