How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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