How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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