How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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