How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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