How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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