How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.


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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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