How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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