How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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