How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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