How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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