How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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