How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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