How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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