How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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