How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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