How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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