How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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