How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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