How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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