How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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