How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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