How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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