How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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