How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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