How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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