How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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