How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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