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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?
Put him in the front seat.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?
Carlos.
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