How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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