How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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