How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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