How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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