How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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