How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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