How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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