How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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