How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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