How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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