How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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