How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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