How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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