How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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