How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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