Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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