How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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