How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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