How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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