How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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