How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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