How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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