How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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