How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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