How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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