How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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