How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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