How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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