How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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