How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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