How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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