How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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