How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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