How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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