How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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