How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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