How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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