How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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