How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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