How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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