How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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