How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

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