How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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