How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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