How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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