How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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