How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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