How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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