How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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