How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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