How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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