How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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