How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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