How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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