How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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