How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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