How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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