How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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