How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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