How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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