How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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