How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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