How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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