How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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