How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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