How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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