How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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A seal walks into a club...
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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