How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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