How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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