How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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