How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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