How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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