How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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