How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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