How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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