How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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