How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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