How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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