How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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