How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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