How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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