How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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