How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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