How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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