How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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