How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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