How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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