How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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