How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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