How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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