How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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