How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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