How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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