How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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