How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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