How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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