How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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