How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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