How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.


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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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