How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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