How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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