How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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