How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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