How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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