How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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