How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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