How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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