How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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