How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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