How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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