How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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