How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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